what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
