I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
