For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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