perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
