didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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