dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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