You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
