I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
