he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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