I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
