Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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