she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
did you just send me my own nude
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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