do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
