I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
