I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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