could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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