Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Too much gin, very little bucket
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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