Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
