Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
