Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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