Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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