The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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