Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
