I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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