boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
