She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
