We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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