does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
