I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
