Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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