We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
