for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
