Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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