Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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