Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
