You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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