im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
