I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
