community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
