Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
