p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
