the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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