my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
