It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
