Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
