im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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