This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
foreskin is a definite game changer
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
