I think my vagina is haunted
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
