my mouth tastes like poor choices
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
In America we eat man semen.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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