Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
