Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
