I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
