Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
