i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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