By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
