Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I would ride that face into the sunset
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
