guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
