; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
