I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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